YOLO - A twisted version

YOLO.  You Only Live Once.

Not even 10 years ago this acronym surfaced and took off with young people.  I knew it to be slang for excusing behavior you wanted to pretend you had no need or desire to take responsibility for.

The thing of it is, though, is that we do only live once. During our one chance to be on this earth, we are called to be salt and light in this world.

You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.

~ Matthew 5:13-16

 
This set of verses trails on the ever popular Beatitudes (Matthew 5:1:3-12).  The blessings that ensue are blessings you can see in those around you--when I consider who I know that portray those qualities, it is those who have suffered through trials and come away from their anguish on the other side, truly beholden to God and His sovereignty.  It is not limited to only those, and these verses should bolster in us encouragement toward being bold in our faith, we will be blessed--maybe not in this lifetime on earth, but our reward is in Heaven.  There is no greater blessing than that, Heaven will make any persecution or suffering worth it!

When we break it down to mere points, the conclusion becomes obvious.  We need to be living our Christian lives with a YOLO mindset.  We only have one life to affect those around us and point them to Christ.  We only have one life to proclaim His Name.  We only have one life to prepare our hearts for eternity.


In the same chapter, the two verses immediately preceding the salt of the earth set of verses, we read:

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in Heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
~ Matthew 5:11-12

 I don't bring this up to give you a false sense of assurance that if you get verbally attacked for defending the Word that you have arrived: that you're in, that you're golden, that your reward is waiting. It is meant to give you a foundation for the truth you are upholding.  Our goal in this life is to give God glory in everything we do and say... can you say you are upholding this in your life?

I have failed many times to be bold in my life, but it helps to remind myself that I do have one life to live so why would I not be bold in my faith; if I claim it defines me and cleanses me from the inside out, if I claim that God is my Father and I seek to give Him glory, have I not, then failed as His herald if I shy away from speaking truth?  I have succumbed to fear too often and kept quiet, hiding away what God has done in and for me.  I have been through trials in the last couple years and God has guided me through them all.  Through those trials, I have found my worth in Christ and a lot of the fear that crippled me has been washed away with my newfound value as one of His.

But... know your worth. Know your disposition. Who you are matters as we seek to honor God with our lives.  If you are terrified of speaking in public, open air preaching is likely not the avenue you should lean toward.  It is important to understand we all have our roles, we are not all called to the same area in ministry but we are all called to it.

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

~ Romans 12:4-8

So I will try to remember YOLO, and my role as a herald for Him is a necessity if I claim Him as my own, which I do.

My Vision has Improved

When I was in my twenties, I looked at life and the people around me with a very limited lens.  My lifeview had not been shaped with a lot of reality or life.

I never realized how little I knew about the people around me.  How their experiences had affected them.  What they were dealing with.  How their relationship with Christ had gotten to the point it had (for better or worse).

I liked my world.  My little bubble. I saw a filtered surface and never bothered to dig past that.

But then I started opening my eyes.  At times, my eyes were pried open and drained of all the tears blocking my vision so I could see the hurt in this world.

My Grandma was always a person I revered.  I still do.  But through the years, my rose-colored glasses fell off as I looked at her and realized: she is a woman; she is flawed; she sins. She also prays for every single one of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all the time.  She reads her Bible daily. She hosted and conducted Bible studies.  She is a woman pastors have gone to for advice.  She is a godly woman.  But she's also a woman.  A woman who has experienced life.  She knows the ups and downs of this life and come out with God as foremost. But it was a strange reality when "Grandma" was more than just Grandma.  She was her own person and I finally saw her as just that.

Another relative became a person to me when I found out he emotionally abused his wife for years.  I never knew his wife had put up with life as an abused spouse.  I never understood the extent of the damage done to her.

All of my life before my thirties, I looked at life and the people around me with a very limited lens. I never realized how little I knew about the people around me. How their experiences had changed them.  What they were dealing with.  How their relationship with Christ had gotten to the point it had (for better or worse).


I saw friends go through divorce.  I saw marriages endure and push past affairs.  I saw single friends struggle with being single.  I saw that every marriage has its challenges and that you really never know what happens (or doesn't) behind closed doors.  I saw the importance in finding a church to call home and really immerse yourself in it.  I saw my husband in a different light.  He was a human, he was flawed just like me.   I saw the plight of pastor's wives everywhere to deal with a husband who is emotionally, spiritually, and physically on call at all times. I saw women in a different light.  I saw the hurt behind so many eyes, the struggle of living imperfectly in our "perfect" society, the anger at how women are portrayed, the insecurity behind scantily clad women. I saw it.

I saw.  I saw life. I realized it's not cut and dry. We are evolving and our thoughts and vision change as we experience life. I also saw my own life radically change.  I never knew my world as I knew it could be so shaken.

I also saw Jesus in a completely different light.  At one time, I sought out the advice of a trusted friend who ended up counseling and guiding me through my thoughts and feelings on my new journey.  She spoke truth, we prayed... we have remained open and honest in our friendship about our struggles.  I began to often go to my secret alone spot and sit there praying and reading the Bible.
I had dealt with my first real tragedy. I was so hurt and confused, but I was at peace.  I turned to comfort through Jesus (and chocolate to be honest).  I'm not sure you ever really know how you will react to hardships, and I am sure I have more coming.  It was my first victory in my real fight against the world though and I was relieved looking back what occurred, for little did I know I was establishing a pattern in my life of Who to turn to when tragedies strike.

But those tragedies would not be my last....

Does the Bible say you MUST Reconcile with Everyone?

I sat idle for about 5 minutes comprehending what I had read, and then felt compelled to comment.  The article was about forgiveness when there are divisions within a family.

It was well worded and would bring many to move toward forgiveness and reconciliation with those they disagreed with and rightly so... where pride had taken over and hardened hearts on both sides of a disagreement.  And I applaud the author for encouraging and urging us to see the big picture; God intended families to be unified and grow together in love.

But there is another end of the spectrum in which reconciliation is not encouraged biblically.  I felt I needed to stand up for those who are not under the typical family disagreement structure. Those who deal with toxic people within their extended families.  And I felt it right to give a voice to those who have been guilted into a false reconciliation meant only to appease another's wants instead of adhering to the Bible.

The sad truth of the matter is that abusive and toxic people are out there, and they belong to someone's family and they may be sitting in the pew next to you at church. There are family members reeling with the after effects of behavior. Being a Christian DOES NOT require you to be in a relationship with these types of people.

 It is not warranted to reconcile in the name of family.  Sweeping issues under the rug, not enforcing consequences, not calling out behaviors as a Christian is detrimental both to yourself and to them. Enabling another's sin justifies it to them and makes it easier for you to justify your own sin.  Projection of issues is common with toxic individuals, but it can be just as common and sometimes worse with enablers.

However, the Bible DOES call us to forgive.  Not necessarily directly to that person; sometimes it is most advisable and advantageous to enforce (at least for a time) a full cut off of that individual.  It calls us to release them of what we have considered a wrong done against us.  It lets go of the hold and control we are trying to assert over their life for something that they may never seek to truly make amends for.  God has called us to repent that hold and to fully forgive them in our hearts SO THAT we may pray for them with properly aligned motives, have compassion on them, love them--even if loving from afar is the closest we will ever be to their presence again.

I urge you, just as the author of the article did, to take time to think through what the Bible has to say.  She references a couple verses with anger as the common denominator; as a call to look inward first and check yourself.  Here, I'll point you to this verse:

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

~Romans 12:18

And as Martin Luther once said:

“Peace if possible. Truth at all costs.”

~Martin Luther

That is an incredibly powerful statement in light of what we are talking about.  Sometimes peace is not possible. It is a basic reality of life on this earth.  The truth ought to always be heralded... even though the truth will cause division and strife by nature. Those who want an exemption from being held accountable for their own sin will buck and claw at the truth (or the upholders of truth) when brought to light and the sin will be held in a place of honor above God's word, people, and (what then become) empty words.

Go ahead and read the entire chapter of Romans 12.  Look at this verse in context.  See and examine your life and the relationships you have with others to challenge yourself and your walk with God.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

~Romans 12:2

Are you conforming to the world or those who are living in it?  If you do not stand up for Christ, your mind cannot be thoroughly renewed.  We all need to pray for courage to stand up for what the Word of God says.  Seeking the truths of God and the Bible in our lives will freefall our nature into a gift of discernment, of knowing what is pleasing to Him. What is not, is worldly; you need to decide today where you stand.  Which side of the line do you tread?

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

~Romans 12:3

Do you take pride in the hard stances you have made for Him?  You depraved human, step back and see the holiness of our God, to make a stand for Him is but nothing short of obedience, it ought not to be praised. You are just as depraved as the sinners you have stood up against, but you have been redeemed; remember that grace and mercy have been extended to you to cover over your sins.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

~Romans 12:9-10

Are you sincere and compassionate?  Do you have a heart for the lost souls?  Do you see the depth of what their sin stands for and where they are headed?  Hate the sin.  Know where it is leading the sinner if they are unrepentant. Then pray for the sinner.  Pray for their lost souls.  Pray for your own depravity, you were once on the very same path to Hell.  But cling voraciously to Him.  See Him as your only true Savior.

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

~Romans 12:11-13

Are you joyful? Are you so downtrodden in failed relationships that you have lost your joy? Remind yourself to whom you are running this race for, His glory alone, the reward of eternity with Him. (This is not meant to discourage those who are in the trenches with a toxic individual but meant to encourage--look Heavenward while you are in battle on this earth.)  Have patience in trials, this will not be the last of them; when dealing with relationships there typically are scores of people that will now be affected. Keep your focus on Him, the line you are enforcing is ultimately for His glory, for their hearts, and for the protection of yours.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

~Romans 12:14-17, 19

Are you bitter? Are you wishing and hoping for earthly vengeance?  You are still called to be holy, even when you are tempted to retaliate.  Two wrongs do not make a right. Remain an appropriate witness for the precious name you represent: Christ.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

~Romans 12:18

Is it possible to live at peace with all people?  No, it is not.  So rest assured, Jesus did not intend to force us into relationships with toxic people. We will be challenged by them though, our name may be slung through the mud, others may take sides, but stand firm in your faith and your calling.  You are His and no one can take that away or mar your relationship with Christ.  Let it ever embolden you to strengthen and rely on Him.

I challenge you to reacquaint yourself with David.  Starting in 1 Samuel 27, we read the account of David fleeing from King Saul with a small army of 600 men. They (the men, their wives, and children) were granted permission to take refuge and live in Ziklag but found upon returning from battle that their town had been destroyed and their women and children taken captive. Then we read as follows:

So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.

~I Samuel 30:4-6

His army wanted to kill him. Saul and his followers wanted to kill him.  Two of his wives (and possibly children) were taken from him.  He was very alone. "But [he] found strength in the Lord his God." Amen. And Amen again. Carrying along with lessons we can learn from David, go ahead and read 2 Samuel 16.  After King David's son Absolom overthrows him, David escapes and a man from King Saul's family comes out cursing him while literally throwing stones at him and his men.  David does not sin in his response, instead he grants authority of the situation to God, "If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’" and then David also says, "Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to."

Live your life looking Heavenward.  Live it knowing you are in full and plain view of our holy Creator God Almighty. You cannot hide your actions from Him.  He cannot be mocked.  Always strive to glorify Him in every situation, and relinquish authority that is His alone when dealing with others.



[The article I referenced above can be read by clicking here.]

Sunday Grace

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;

As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Marital Advice

We have attended a couple weddings in the last couple of months which has brought about reflections on our own marriage.  What would I have liked to know before I spoke my contractual 'I do' to intertwine my God with my husband until death do us part.


Would I have gotten married had I known the depths to which we would struggle?  If I had known that my husband would have baggage brought into our marriage that would affect us years down the road? If I had known that my baggage would be brought in and uncovered for the ugliness it was?

Probably not.

Before and for most of our now 12 years of marriage, I had never known the depths of depravity in my own life, the life of my husband, the realization that my own kids are just as depraved, that my marriage had been wrought with sin, and I was in a marriage where we had professed love not realizing it was entirely conditional.

But had I known the other side of the darkness, what comes forth into light after the darkness, I would choose marriage and I would willingly go through it all again to know what's on the other side.

To know that I can be real with my spouse and he will still love me.  To know that I have learned what God desires when He asks us to live a repentant life.  To willingly apologize to my husband and he to me when needed.  To set boundaries with my spouse, toward him and toward others, and know that they will be respected. To have a real true love blossom out of the darkness that our past holds.

To know my life is first and foremost in God's hands, that I am His, and I seek to give Him all glory in my life now.  To know my identity of worth is safely within my personal relationship with Jesus Christ; it is not based on my husbands' relationship with Him, nor am I responsible for his.
That is intimacy.  That is the glue that will hold us together for the next battles we may face.  But they will be battles we face together.

We now have a unity in spirit and truth that we were lacking.  Our marriage now has the foundational truths it was lacking. Our separate relationships with God are rooted in Him as our true foundation.
So what would I say to someone getting married; what would be my advice to them?

I would encourage them both to truly seek to live repentant lives, both as individuals in their separate relationship to Christ but also together in marriage toward each other.  Truly.  Repentance involving not just an apology but a TRUE turning from sin.  When sin from your past is brought into a marriage, it needs to be dealt with, worked through, and repented of.  This includes a hatred, absolute hatred of all sin.  We need to view our sin as our holy and perfect God sees sin.  It is ugly, vile, disgusting.  We must turn away from it if we are calling ourselves Christians.  God gives us the ability of self-discipline.  It is ours to choose whether or not we enact and strengthen our power over sin or give in to worldly pleasures.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
~2 Timothy 1:7

He brings about healing.  He brings about unity in marriage.  He makes all things possible.  He will be the sustainer of you should you choose to live a repentant life.

So I ask you to pray over your marriage.  Yourself. And your spouse.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~Ephesians 3:20-21

Walk with the Lord by leading a life filled with repentance.  In doing so, you will bring glory to His name.  And that is the best advice I can give to newlyweds.