My Idol

Honest moments here.  For a long time I had a certain idol in my life.  It was pervasive and constant and always around me.  I liked it's presence, I wanted to be around it, I enjoyed the attention I got back from it. I turned to it first for advice, consolation, strength, and love.

Except that "it" was a person, my husband.

For a long time in my marriage, I was fearful of what I would do if Dusty ever died. I just could NOT imagine my life without him all while I was cutting God out of it and replacing Him slowly with my husband. God honors marriage, He does, but not when it overtakes the place in your heart specifically designed for Him!

This acronym from childhood always plays in my head:
J - Jesus
O - Others
Y - Yourself

I was not submitting to JOY in my life, I had tweaked it to YOJ. I desired earthly pleasantries and joys instead of looking for my joy from Heaven.  I selfishly created Dusty into an idol which did neither of us any good.

Needless to say, since then I have correctly placed my husband (in my life and in my heart) right where he needs to be, number 2. My awareness of my idolatry brings me back to the 10 Commandments--commandments which I will always fall short of but will strive ever so hard to (impossibly) perfect.

"You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in Heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." Exodus 20:3-4b (NIV), emphasis added

Even your husband can become your idol. Be daily aware of how Satan will try to slip things past you until you start eliminating God and raising up your idol above HIM (whatever or whomever that may be).

Do NOT let what was meant to be a Godly union be twisted by Satan by shoving God aside in your life.  Be aware that anything and anyone can fill that slot if you allow it.  It was my fault that happened, and it is well within my control to ensure it doesn't happen ever again.

I have a stronger marriage now than before as I have recognized and applied what God desires for a marriage.  I have learned what unconditional love looks like from God so I can then apply it toward my husband.  I have learned to turn to God first and then my husband after.  I have learned to begin my day with God and then will communicate with my husband.  I have learned to seek God for comfort in what life throws at me, so I can turn to my husband and share how I have been comforted.  I have leaned on God so I don't lean on my husband expecting him to save me.

The sanctification process has taken years to uncover and develop, I was not a quick study.  I am very grateful that God blessed me with grace to get me to the point I am today.  He has truly guided my steps so I see that I should have no other gods before Him.